


I'm in love with you... Because you're you.

by wqstvland



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Happy Ending, Ian Gallagher Loves Mickey Milkovich, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher, Sad Ian Gallagher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:27:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22186330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wqstvland/pseuds/wqstvland
Summary: { One-Shot set during 10x09, what if instead of telling him to get over his "I'm not worthy of love" shit Mickey actually told him why he loved him and make things right.}
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78





	I'm in love with you... Because you're you.

Ian looked as Mickey started to go inside, he always wanted to marry him, of course he did, how could he not? When they were at the courthouse and he finally realized Mickey wasn't the one who killed Paula, he didn't reconsider, he was still willing to marry him. But then he thought about it, how could Mickey love him? There was nothing to love in him, he's bipolar, he doesn't know when or if his meds are gonna stop working, he can't guarantee that he won't go down again, he can't guarantee anything. So he didn't sign, he didn't want Mickey to know why, he couldn't tell him, how could he possibly tell him? So he just said he didn't love marriage, he said he wanted to know what Mickey felt, the only thing he got was a broken leg... Kind of an answer. But he was still wondering, how could somebody possibly love him, if he wasn't even able to love himself just a little? So he asked him.

"How do you know you love me? How do you really know?" Ian felt tears coming in his eyes, started to fight so they wouldn't come down his cheeks. At first he didn't look at Mickey, he didn't want to. He was way to scared to see what was in his eyes. But then he turned to him, and all he could see was confusion, so he explained.  
"I'm bipolar, right? I don't know who I am from one day to the next. I can't guarantee you shit. So why do you wanna spend the rest of your life with me? Are you fucking crazy? Who else have you dated?"  
"I dated plenty of people–" Ian cut him off.  
"No, not fucked, dated, been in love with. How can you possibly know that me, th-that this, all of me, all the fucking version I am. How do you know that's what you want to spend the rest of your life with?" Ian's voice cracked. He felt tears rushing in his eyes, and was desperately trying to control them.

Mickey looked at Ian, how can he know he loves him? Is that a real question? He loved him unconditionally, he did everything he could have done for him and he's actually asking how Mickey knows he loves him? How can he be sure. Surprisingly, the first thing he felt wasn't anger, neither surprise, no it was confusion, because... What the fuck was he saying?! And apparently the redhead understood because he explained himself, and that's when Mickey understood. Ian wanted to marry him, Mickey wanted to marry Ian, they loved each other, that wasn't the problem knowing if they loved each other because they did. Ian didn't like marriage and it was understandable but it still wasn't the problem, the problem was Ian, his fucked mind, thinking he wasn't worthy of love. The problem wasn't that he didn't love Mickey enough to marry him the problem was he didn't love HIMSELF enough to even think someone could possibly love him that much. 

"You know what nevermind. It doesn't matter. This.. it was a bad idea, coming here... Bye." Ian's voice kind of woke mickey up. He looked at Ian and he saw the tears he couldn't stop from falling. He didn't want to let him go, but that wasn't him, talking about his feeling, heart to heart with the man he loves... But on the other hand, he was the man he loved, Ian was right in a way, he never dated anyone else so how could he know he loved HIM and not another one. And well... He just knows, he always knew. Mickey stayed where he was, just standing, waiting, waiting for... Anything. But the only thing that was happening was... Nothing. Ian kept walking away, he wasn't coming back. And now Mickey knew the reason. So why wasn't he doing anything? 

"Ian! Wait Ian! Ian.." He ran after him. With those crutches Ian couldn't go really fast so he didn't have to go very far away to reach him. He turned him back so he would face him. The redhead looked down and no matter how hard Mickey tried to reach him eyes, Ian kept looking away.  
"Hey, look at me? Please?" And there he finally did it. Ian looked up to him. For once, that one proverb "the eyes are the mirror of the soul" is real. He could see how much pain Ian was in, he could see anger, not against Mickey, but against himself. That was the one feeling that surrounded the others, self hatred. 

"I love you... Because you're you. You are Ian Gallagher, my bipolar smart redhead. I only love you Ian and nobody else. And if you ask me why... I don't know why. You don't know how many times I tried to move on, to.. to forget you. How many times I tried to find someone else. But the only person I could think of.. it was you. 'Cause there's no one else like you Ian." He looked into Ian's eyes, he was crying, tears were coming down his cheeks.  
"I love you." That's the only thing he said, his voice was cracking, and it was breaking Mickey's heart, to see him so broken. He was broken too but Ian was the one who kept the pieces together. And so he hoped he could do the same in return.  
"I love you too. But I'd want you to say you love yourself," Ian opened his mouth to say something but Mickey wasn't done yet, "but I know you can't. And so that's why I'm doing this," He took the ring off Ian's neck and kneeled, "so now you know you're worthy of love, you know that I love you, and you know that I wanna marry you."  
Ian stood there, speechless.  
"So what? You're gonna refuse now?" Ian looked at Mickey, and then the ring.  
"What? Of course I want to marry you." Mickey got up, put the ring on Ian's finger and kissed him. God, he missed him.  
"Come on, let's go home."  
"What about your stuff?" Ian asked.  
"I'll call Barry tomorrow." The redhead glared at him.  
"Byron." Mickey rolled his eyes.  
"Yeah whatever." And now that was Ian's turn to roll his eyes, not the first time that day, but definitely in a better mood right now. 

Maybe it was gonna be okay now. Even tho Mickey knew Ian was so far away to love himself completely, at least he accepted to marry him, and that was a big step. So yeah maybe it was gonna be fine for now on.


End file.
